There’s always a risk you take when you are on a very limited budget and decide to buy a factory left over Elf on a Shelf out of the back of a van parked in a Taco Bell parking lot. I’m generally a half glass full type of gal so I was confident that this would work out well. I see all the cute pictures posted on Facebook by all my friends. Elf playing dress up with Santa (sounds a little peervy if you ask me though), Elf sleeping in the candy bowl all snuggled up and Elf reading Good Night Moon. So Sweet!!
Something seemed amiss in the early hours of Dover this cold December morning. Shadows were dancing around the bathroom but every time I peered around the curtain nothing was there. Just an overactive imagination I guess. Being paranoid is not much of a stretch when you have a psychotic elf that has taken up residence.
Just as I was shampooing my hair (CUE Music) a large shadow loomed across the curtain of a dark figure with a kitchen knife. AS my heart plummeted to the floor and I cowered in fear the curtain was drawn back to reveal an elf in an old lady dress with a gray wig holding a cardboard cutout butcher knife covered in foil.
5am is not the time to reenact the shower scene in Psycho. I’m not amused, but I do have to say it’s a good sign that Holly made her own cardboard prop instead of the real thing. That would have been a guaranteed eviction notice. I’ll go to Target and buy that Taylor Swift CD myself. There is nothing in the world Santa could offer me as restitution for harboring that psycho elf.
All I have to say is if come home to an apartment full on Tippi Hedren from The Birds… there will be an elf released into the wilds of Southern New Hampshire and possibly Maine. Bear arms, lock you doors, and pray that the elf skips your house.
No comments:
Post a Comment