On my honor, I will try:To serve God and my country,
To help people at all times,
And to live by the Girl Scout Law.
To help people at all times,
And to live by the Girl Scout Law.
Girl Scouts.. such fond memories. Building confidence, volunteering, sell cookies and working towards badges.
Goals, selflessness, building character... yes this is exactly what Holly needs. No more cruising after hours in the Barbie corvette, no more trips to the police station. Holly needs additional role models besides myself of course. Holly was resistant at first claiming that it sounds like one of those hippie dippie cults singing about sunshine and happiness. How do I know that they aren't going to brainwash her and ask her to stand on a corner asking for money for their cause. Well I was a Girl Scout for many years and look how I turned out. Holly just nods and murmers well that validates all my previous suspicions...
A quick jaunt up into the attic provides a trip down memory lane. Brown polyester jumper dress, sashes filled to the brim with badges with no room for more to be added. A felt brownie beanie and my patches for top cookie seller 1984, 1985, 1986, etc.
Holly joined the local troop and all appeared to be well. Weekends volunteering at the nursing home. She even donated a few contraband books the residents asked for. Her heart was in the right place I think.
Things were going so well until cookie season came upon us. Elves are known for their competitive nature. It's not their fault really. Santa feeds fuel to the fire by offering awards and incentives to those that meet quota far and beyond expectations. If you don't meet quota...well....things are no longer snowflakes, candycanes, and gum drops.
Holly was excited to sell cookies and wanted to know what awards are offered and incentives to sell the most for your troop. The troop leader explained that the funds go towards attending Camp Fireside. Well that wasn't going to do. Holly came up with her own incentives amongst the girls. First place earns not only top badge, BUT a petition to have a new cookie named after her next selling season. Only rule is there are no rules. Most definitly not the Girl Scout motto but Holly was running this show.
Those girls were no match for Holly. She took her cue from another nostalgic snack. Twinkie and Snowball. Now girl scout cookies are only offered once a year.What do you do when you no something will no longer be offered? You buy up inventory and rise prices at a later date when mercandise is out of stock and no longer available. Now that Twinkies are no longer offered, everyone suddently wants one.
So that is how I came to have my back room filled floor to ceilling with cases of Thin Mints, Shortbread, etc. Holly used her allowance from Santa to buy up the stock offered for her troop. Her plan is to sell them on Ebay for a huge profit. Begrudingly top prize and badge was bestowed upon Holly. 15 sullen girls will be off to Camp Fireside this summer and Holly's membership has been rescinded. Not before a petition was submitted for a new cookie next year CANDY CANE CRAZY CRUNCH. A slight change from the original submission which was PSYCHO ELF DELIGHT.
Holly has her own sash with her one cookie top seller patch. Even though she is no longer a Girl Scout she has assured me she can think of several badges she can come up with and earn on her own. Lord please help me. I better not see a Start Your Own Meth Lab badge or Adopt a Inmate badge or Fight to the Death skills badge..
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