Saturday, February 9, 2013

Bread, Milk, Candy, and Beer? Priorities for a Blizzard.

Blizzard 2013 is here and Holly is beside herself with glee.

Prepartions had to be made of course which included battling the local super market which was a scary experience. Fear seized me as I crossed the threshold. Carts blocked the aisles, people had that crazed look in their eyes so I grabbed the few things on my list and got the heck out of Dodge.

Holly inspected my goods and exclaimed "You are a New Englander!! This isn't your first time at the rodeo. Where's the chips? Where's the Cheetos, Where's the brownie mix, beef jerky and most important of all WHERE'S THE CANDY!!"

Holly has a point (well except about being a New Englander. I'm from the mid west but I did live in upstate New York my last two years of high school which was good prepartion for New England winters), if you are going to be snowed in for a few days, junk food is a must.

I gave a sheepish shrug and Holly rolled her eyes with disgust. Holly explained to me that her time at the North Pole has taught her a few things about harsh winters. Take Santa for example.

Q: Why do you think Santa is round and pudgy?
A:  Not from all the cookies on Christmas obviously. He's holed up in the North Pole snowed in while the elves slave away year round making toys. Santa spends his time eating cake, chips, fried mushrooms, etc. while watching Real Houswives of Atlanta marathons.

Q: Why do you think Santa is so rosy and jolly all the time?
A: He's snowed in with his collection of Budwiser, Padbst Blue Ribbon, Heinekin, etc. In some states he's more likely to arrive at a house with a bottle of Bud and a bag of pretzels left out instead of milk and cookies. You'd be a fool to think that sleigh arrvies back home empty. For every 5 presents that leave the sleigh a bottle of fine liquor goes back in.

Q:  Why do you think Reindeer play Reindeer games?
A:  To not go stir crazy with cabin fever. I keep telling you Rudolph is a little bit off. He was excluded from reindeer  games in his early years as we all know from that silly little song.

To drive her point home Holly said "Tell me what the person before you and after you in line was buying at the super market?"

The lady in front of me had a bag of apples and a 30 pack of beer and the lady behind me was buying a carton of ciggies.

Holly hurls a carton of yogurt at me and yells "PRIORITIES JAIME!!! PRIORITIES!!""

"Next time at least buy a pack of Twizzlers and a bag Cool Ranch Doritoes when preparing to ride out a blizzard. Geesh.."

As for snowed in activities, I think an 80's movie marathon is in order. Holly disagrees and thinks The Shining is the perfect snowed in movie. I think I can change her mind with the two Johns's of the 80's: John Cusack and John Hughes.

T Minus 10 until lazy snowed in activies again. Holly just needs to stop obsessing over her Blizzard 2013 Squares. She's informed me that I work with a bunch of gamblers. She emailed out the Cubes on Friday morning and she has a  lot money at stake on 30 inches by noon Saturday. Her biggest threat is Wanda in Order Entry and Jenn in whatever the heck she does to keep the network and technical stuff up and running at work.

Ohh.. and don't even mention Susan in Sales. She won the 1st and 2nd quarter for the  Super Bowl Squares and Holly defriended her on my Facebook page. Reminds me that I need to change my password AGAIN.


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