Guess who's back...

Last March I came home to found a note on my counter that read, I'm blowing this pop stand! Peace Out, Holly And that is the last I heard from that deranged elf.... As I stirred in the early morning hours the sound of a little drummer boy was thumping in my ears. I've always found that tune to be just a tad bit creepy and only seemed fitting as I slowly opened my eyes to find Holly sitting on my chest staring intently into my face with what possibly appeared to be red jam smeared across her face. I'M BACCCCCCKKKKKKKKKK......... HEEEERRRREEEEEEEE'S HOOOOLLLLLLYYYYYY.... Aughh...... I always knew deep down this might happen but it doesn't change the fact that I still might have peed my pants just a little. I don't like suprises and Holly with a red smeared face is one of them. I have one questions for your Miss Jaime? Did you rob a jam factory, because your cupboard is filled to the brim with jam. If I've told you once I've told you a million times if you are planning a heist the following places should be considered first. 1. A Bank.... for obvious reasons 2. A Liquor store.... for obvious reasons 3. Mr. Fickle's Kazoo, Tambourine and Cymbal Shop for reasons he knows why.... JAM FACTORY IS NOT AT THE TOP OF THE LIST! Did you learn anything from me while I graced you with my presence last Christmas? Actually Holly I got a new job and... Holly rolls her eyes. Blah Blah Blah is what I'm hearing. I'm bored already. So Santa gave me my trust fund aka hush money for not blowing the whistle on his little elf sweat shop so I decided to spend a few weeks of debuachy jet setting around the world until I woke up in the gutter in Bangkok, broke with some symbol tattooed on my arm which losely translates into Satan's Spawn. So I'm without funds and thinking I need cash fast so I put my computer skills to use and accepted a job working on the Affordable Health Care website I did such a great job that they gave me a bonus called a Severance Package, and I decided to take my moolah and high tail it to New Hampshire to check in on my Sexy Jam Lady. Ummm.. Don't call me that. Too late. Embrace and Accept it. I have one question for you. Do you stil have my Barbie Corvette and are the local po po ready for us this holiday season?